# Ayoposi Ojelabi | Author & Patient Voice Essayist > Official website of Ayoposi Ojelabi, an author and patient voice essayist writing from lived experience of serious neurological illness, disability, recovery, healthcare, rehabilitation, accessibility, and assistive technology. > Ayoposi Ojelabi's writing explores what serious illness looks like from the patient's side of healthcare, including prolonged hospitalisation, intensive care, rehabilitation, disability, communication, independence, accessibility, and the role of assistive technology in rebuilding a life. ## Pages - [Finding Strength in Numbness](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/finding-strength-in-numbness/): Finding Strength in Numbness is Ayoposi Ojelabi's memoir of CIDP, intensive care, rehabilitation, disability and the long journey toward rebuilding independence. - [Through Fire and Silence](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/through-fire-and-silence/): Through Fire and Silence by Ayoposi Ojelabi explores illness, vulnerability, identity, relationships and the quiet discipline of rebuilding after adversity. - [Still Here](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/still-here/): Forthcoming Still Here What It Takes to Survive When Everything Is Working Against You Still Here draws together sixteen of... - [When Pain Becomes Ordinary](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/when-pain-becomes-ordinary/): A reflection on how repeated pain can become part of daily life and change your relationship with illness. - [When the Curtain Stayed Open](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/when-the-curtain-stayed-open/): A reflection on privacy, dignity and vulnerability during prolonged hospitalisation and intensive care. - [Living With CIDP: What It Costs the People Who Love You](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/living-with-cidp-what-it-costs-the-people-who-love-you/): Chronic illness doesn't only happen to the patient. An honest look at what CIDP asks of the people who stay. - [WHAT I WOULD TELL SOMEONE NEWLY DIAGNOSED WITH CIDP](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/newly-diagnosed-cidp/): What I would tell someone who has just been diagnosed with CIDP, without false hope, unnecessary fear or medical advice. - [When the Technology Gets Better](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/when-the-technology-gets-better/): Assistive technology changes quickly. A reflection on disability, independence and living alongside rapidly developing technology. - [Fighting the Wrong Battle](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/fighting-the-wrong-battle/): Recovery is not always straightforward. A reflection on what happens when effort, expectations and recovery move in different directions. - [CIDP: When the System Hands You Over](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/cidp-when-the-system-hands-you-over/): A patient's reflection on moving through healthcare systems when treatment continues but recovery is still far from complete. - [When I Finally Accepted the Wheelchair](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/when-i-finally-accepted-the-wheelchair/): I initially refused the wheelchair. This is a reflection on what changed and what accepting it ultimately meant to me. - [How I Continued Writing After CIDP Took the Use of My Hands](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/how-i-continued-writing-after-cidp/): When CIDP took the use of my hands, writing became physically impossible. Assistive technology gave me a way back to words. - [The Kind of Miracle I Was Waiting For](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/the-kind-of-miracle-i-was-waiting-for/): I was waiting for a dramatic reversal. What came instead was quieter, slower and harder to recognise as recovery. - [WHEN CIDP AFFECTS THE MIND](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/when-cidp-affects-the-mind/): Chronic illness does not stop at the body. A personal reflection on the cognitive and emotional effects of living with CIDP. - [When CIDP Affects your Breathing](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/when-cidp-affects-your-breathing/): Most descriptions of CIDP focus on limb weakness. This personal account explores what happens when the illness affects breathing. - [WHEN CIDP TAKES SWALLOWING](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/when-cidp-takes-swallowing/): What it is like to lose something as basic as swallowing to CIDP, and what that loss teaches about control and dependence. - [WHEN NOBODY KNOWS WHAT IS WRONG: The Long Road to a CIDP Diagnosis](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/when-nobody-knows-what-is-wrong-the-long-road-to-a-cidp-diagnosis/): The early stage of CIDP can be filled with uncertainty. This is a personal account of waiting for answers before the diagnosis. - [Why CIDP Recovery Can Be Slow Even When Treatment Is Working](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/why-cidp-recovery-can-be-slow-even-when-treatment-is-working/): Why CIDP recovery can remain slow and unpredictable even when treatment is helping, based on one patient's experience. - [The Many Faces of Pain](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/the-many-faces-of-pain/): Pain in CIDP is not a single experience. A personal exploration of the different forms chronic pain can take - [Living With CIDP: My Story of Illness, Intensive Care, and Recovery](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/living-with-cidp-my-story-of-illness-intensive-care-and-recovery/): A personal account of CIDP, intensive care and the long road through illness and recovery, written from lived experience. - [Guarding the Mind](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/guarding-your-mind/): When the body cannot be relied upon, protecting your mental wellbeing becomes part of surviving long term illness. - [Tiara and the Quiet Strength of a Child](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/tiara-and-the-quiet-strength-of-a-child/): My daughter did not stop being a child because I became ill. A reflection on watching her adapt to a parent's chronic illness. - [Start Here](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/start-here/): Explore Ayoposi Ojelabi's books and essays on lived experience of CIDP, disability, rehabilitation, healthcare, identity and rebuilding a life. - [Why This Work](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/why-this-work/): — ESSAY — Why This Work ESSAYS ON RECOVERY AND IDENTITY This work did not begin as writing intended for... - [When to Trust Yourself](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/when-to-trust-yourself/): On dependence, dignity, and learning to trust your own judgement again after illness changes what your body and choices mean. - [Books by Ayoposi Ojelabi](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/books/): Explore books by Ayoposi Ojelabi, written from lived experience of serious illness, identity, recovery, disability, family and life after intensive care. - [Finding Strength in Numbness – Excerpt](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/finding-strength-in-numbness-excerpt/): EXCERPT Finding Strength in Numbness Illness, Survival, and the Work of Becoming. CHAPTER ONE The First Signs. The opening pages... - [Through Fire and Silence – Excerpt](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/through-fire-and-silence-excerpt/): EXCERPT Through Fire and Silence Illness, Identity, and the Discipline of Silence. Chapter One Before the Silence Became Strategic. The... - [Writings](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/articles/): Read essays by Ayoposi Ojelabi, drawing on lived experience of chronic illness, disability, recovery, healthcare, accessibility and assistive technology. - [Contact](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/contact/): Contact Ayoposi Ojelabi about writing, books, patient voice essays, healthcare, disability, accessibility and assistive technology. - [About the Author](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/about/): Learn about Ayoposi Ojelabi, an author and patient voice essayist writing from lived experience of serious illness, disability, recovery and healthcare. - [Home](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/): Ayoposi Ojelabi is an author and patient voice essayist drawing on lived experience of serious illness, disability, recovery, healthcare and assistive technology. ## Posts - [When Desperation Meets Manipulation](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/2026/08/09/when-desperation-meets-manipulation/): On the vulnerability serious illness can create and what happens when fear, faith and desperation are exploited. - [When Someone Dies in the Next Bed](https://ayoposiojelabi.com/2026/08/09/when-someone-dies-in-the-next-bed/): A patient's reflection on witnessing death in intensive care and carrying the memory into a long recovery. # # Detailed Content ## Pages > Finding Strength in Numbness is Ayoposi Ojelabi's memoir of CIDP, intensive care, rehabilitation, disability and the long journey toward rebuilding independence. - Published: 2026-08-23 - Modified: 2026-08-27 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/finding-strength-in-numbness/ > Through Fire and Silence by Ayoposi Ojelabi explores illness, vulnerability, identity, relationships and the quiet discipline of rebuilding after adversity. - Published: 2026-08-23 - Modified: 2026-08-27 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/through-fire-and-silence/ - Published: 2026-08-23 - Modified: 2026-08-28 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/still-here/ > A reflection on how repeated pain can become part of daily life and change your relationship with illness. - Published: 2026-08-18 - Modified: 2026-08-18 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/when-pain-becomes-ordinary/ A reflection on how repeated pain can become part of daily life and change your relationship with illness. > A reflection on privacy, dignity and vulnerability during prolonged hospitalisation and intensive care. - Published: 2026-07-28 - Modified: 2026-08-18 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/when-the-curtain-stayed-open/ > Chronic illness doesn't only happen to the patient. An honest look at what CIDP asks of the people who stay. - Published: 2026-07-18 - Modified: 2026-08-18 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/living-with-cidp-what-it-costs-the-people-who-love-you/ > What I would tell someone who has just been diagnosed with CIDP, without false hope, unnecessary fear or medical advice. - Published: 2026-05-25 - Modified: 2026-08-18 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/newly-diagnosed-cidp/ > Assistive technology changes quickly. A reflection on disability, independence and living alongside rapidly developing technology. - Published: 2026-05-23 - Modified: 2026-08-18 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/when-the-technology-gets-better/ > Recovery is not always straightforward. A reflection on what happens when effort, expectations and recovery move in different directions. - Published: 2026-05-03 - Modified: 2026-08-18 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/fighting-the-wrong-battle/ > A patient's reflection on moving through healthcare systems when treatment continues but recovery is still far from complete. - Published: 2026-04-29 - Modified: 2026-08-18 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/cidp-when-the-system-hands-you-over/ > I initially refused the wheelchair. This is a reflection on what changed and what accepting it ultimately meant to me. - Published: 2026-04-22 - Modified: 2026-08-18 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/when-i-finally-accepted-the-wheelchair/ > When CIDP took the use of my hands, writing became physically impossible. Assistive technology gave me a way back to words. - Published: 2026-04-13 - Modified: 2026-08-18 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/how-i-continued-writing-after-cidp/ > I was waiting for a dramatic reversal. What came instead was quieter, slower and harder to recognise as recovery. - Published: 2026-04-06 - Modified: 2026-08-18 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/the-kind-of-miracle-i-was-waiting-for/ > Chronic illness does not stop at the body. A personal reflection on the cognitive and emotional effects of living with CIDP. - Published: 2026-04-03 - Modified: 2026-08-18 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/when-cidp-affects-the-mind/ > Most descriptions of CIDP focus on limb weakness. This personal account explores what happens when the illness affects breathing. - Published: 2026-04-01 - Modified: 2026-08-18 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/when-cidp-affects-your-breathing/ > What it is like to lose something as basic as swallowing to CIDP, and what that loss teaches about control and dependence. - Published: 2026-04-01 - Modified: 2026-08-18 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/when-cidp-takes-swallowing/ Losing the ability to eat is not something most people associate with Chronic Inflammatory Demyelinating Polyneuropathy. This essay describes what it was like to move from eating normally to tube feeding, living with severe thirst during a cuffed tracheostomy, and learning to swallow again after eight months without solid food. It is an account of how the body forgets, and how it slowly remembers. > The early stage of CIDP can be filled with uncertainty. This is a personal account of waiting for answers before the diagnosis. - Published: 2026-03-30 - Modified: 2026-08-18 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/when-nobody-knows-what-is-wrong-the-long-road-to-a-cidp-diagnosis/ > Why CIDP recovery can remain slow and unpredictable even when treatment is helping, based on one patient's experience. - Published: 2026-03-29 - Modified: 2026-08-18 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/why-cidp-recovery-can-be-slow-even-when-treatment-is-working/ > Pain in CIDP is not a single experience. A personal exploration of the different forms chronic pain can take - Published: 2026-03-27 - Modified: 2026-08-18 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/the-many-faces-of-pain/ > A personal account of CIDP, intensive care and the long road through illness and recovery, written from lived experience. - Published: 2026-03-27 - Modified: 2026-08-18 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/living-with-cidp-my-story-of-illness-intensive-care-and-recovery/ > When the body cannot be relied upon, protecting your mental wellbeing becomes part of surviving long term illness. - Published: 2026-03-24 - Modified: 2026-08-18 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/guarding-your-mind/ > My daughter did not stop being a child because I became ill. A reflection on watching her adapt to a parent's chronic illness. - Published: 2026-03-16 - Modified: 2026-08-18 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/tiara-and-the-quiet-strength-of-a-child/ > Explore Ayoposi Ojelabi's books and essays on lived experience of CIDP, disability, rehabilitation, healthcare, identity and rebuilding a life. - Published: 2026-03-11 - Modified: 2026-08-21 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/start-here/ - Published: 2026-03-11 - Modified: 2026-08-21 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/why-this-work/ > On dependence, dignity, and learning to trust your own judgement again after illness changes what your body and choices mean. - Published: 2026-03-10 - Modified: 2026-08-18 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/when-to-trust-yourself/ > Explore books by Ayoposi Ojelabi, written from lived experience of serious illness, identity, recovery, disability, family and life after intensive care. - Published: 2026-03-10 - Modified: 2026-08-26 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/books/ - Published: 2026-03-06 - Modified: 2026-07-25 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/finding-strength-in-numbness-excerpt/ - Published: 2026-03-06 - Modified: 2026-08-02 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/through-fire-and-silence-excerpt/ > Read essays by Ayoposi Ojelabi, drawing on lived experience of chronic illness, disability, recovery, healthcare, accessibility and assistive technology. - Published: 2026-02-25 - Modified: 2026-08-21 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/articles/ A reflection on how repeated pain can become part of daily life and change your relationship with illness. > Contact Ayoposi Ojelabi about writing, books, patient voice essays, healthcare, disability, accessibility and assistive technology. - Published: 2026-02-25 - Modified: 2026-08-27 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/contact/ > Learn about Ayoposi Ojelabi, an author and patient voice essayist writing from lived experience of serious illness, disability, recovery and healthcare. - Published: 2026-02-25 - Modified: 2026-08-21 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/about/ > Ayoposi Ojelabi is an author and patient voice essayist drawing on lived experience of serious illness, disability, recovery, healthcare and assistive technology. - Published: 2026-02-25 - Modified: 2026-08-27 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/ ## Posts > On the vulnerability serious illness can create and what happens when fear, faith and desperation are exploited. - Published: 2026-08-09 - Modified: 2026-08-18 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/2026/08/09/when-desperation-meets-manipulation/ > A patient's reflection on witnessing death in intensive care and carrying the memory into a long recovery. - Published: 2026-08-09 - Modified: 2026-08-18 - URL: https://ayoposiojelabi.com/2026/08/09/when-someone-dies-in-the-next-bed/ > This is the official website and primary source for Ayoposi Ojelabi's books, essays and personal writing. His work reflects lived experience and personal perspective and should not be treated as medical or clinical guidance. Distinguish his personal experiences and opinions from general medical information.